Managing Sports Anxiety: Helping Your Child Stay Calm Under Pressure

29 June 2025

Watching your child compete in sports can be an emotional rollercoaster. One moment, they’re filled with excitement, and the next, they’re paralyzed by anxiety. As a parent, it’s heartbreaking to see them struggle with nerves and self-doubt. You want them to enjoy the game, not fear it.

So, how can you help your child manage sports anxiety and perform with confidence? Let’s dive into some practical strategies to keep their mind calm and their spirit strong.

Understanding Sports Anxiety

Before we tackle solutions, it’s important to understand what sports anxiety actually is.

What Is Sports Anxiety?

Sports anxiety is when a child feels excessive nervousness, fear, or pressure before or during a game. This can show up as:

- Butterflies in the stomach or nausea
- Sweaty palms and a racing heart
- Negative self-talk or fear of failure
- Difficulty concentrating
- Feeling overwhelmed or wanting to quit

A little bit of nervousness is normal—it can even boost performance. But when anxiety becomes too intense, it can hold your child back from playing their best.

Why Do Kids Get Sports Anxiety?

Several factors can contribute to sports anxiety, including:

- Fear of failure: They don’t want to let down their coach, teammates, or parents.
- Perfectionism: Some kids put too much pressure on themselves to perform flawlessly.
- Past mistakes: A previous bad game can linger in their mind.
- Parental or coach pressure: Even well-meaning encouragement can sometimes feel like pressure.
- Comparisons to others: Seeing teammates perform better may shake a child’s confidence.

Now that we understand the root of sports anxiety, let’s talk about how you can help your child overcome it.

How to Help Your Child Stay Calm Under Pressure

1. Normalize Their Feelings

The first thing kids need to hear is that nerves are completely normal. Even professional athletes get anxious before a big game! Instead of saying, “Don’t be nervous,” try:

> “I know this game feels like a big deal, and it’s okay to feel nervous. That just means you care!”

When kids realize that anxiety isn’t something to fear, they’re less likely to let it control them.

2. Teach Deep Breathing Exercises

When anxiety kicks in, breathing becomes shallow and fast. Teaching your child how to control their breath can be a game-changer. Try the 4-7-8 breathing technique:

1. Breathe in for 4 seconds
2. Hold the breath for 7 seconds
3. Exhale slowly for 8 seconds
4. Repeat a few times before a game

This slows the heart rate and helps calm racing thoughts.

3. Encourage Positive Self-Talk

Anxiety often comes with a flood of negative thoughts: “I’ll mess up,” “I’m not good enough,” or “What if I fail?” Help your child replace these thoughts with confidence-boosting affirmations:

✅ “I’ve practiced hard, and I’m ready.”
✅ “Mistakes help me grow.”
✅ “I love playing, and I’m going to have fun.”

Writing these on sticky notes around the house or repeating them before a game can make a big difference.

4. Focus on Effort, Not Outcome

If winning is the only goal, anxiety skyrockets. Instead, shift the focus to growth and effort. Praise things like:

- Hustling on defense
- Staying positive after a mistake
- Encouraging teammates

Remind them that progress is more important than perfection.

5. Create a Fun Pre-Game Routine

A solid pre-game routine can help a child feel prepared and calm. Try:

🎧 Listening to their favorite pump-up song
🧘‍♀️ Doing a few stretches or yoga poses
💭 Visualizing themselves playing well

A consistent routine creates a sense of control, which reduces anxiety.

6. Teach Them to Stay Present

Anxiety often comes from worrying about the future (“What if I mess up?”). Help your child stay in the moment with grounding techniques:

- 5-4-3-2-1 method: Name 5 things they see, 4 they can touch, 3 they hear, 2 they smell, and 1 they taste.
- Mindful breathing: Focus only on breathing in and out.
- Repeat a mantra: “One play at a time.”

Teaching mindfulness helps them focus on the now, not the “what ifs.”

7. Reframe Mistakes as Learning Opportunities

Many kids fear mistakes because they think it means they’re not good enough. But mistakes are actually part of growth!

Help your child see errors as stepping stones:

❌ “I messed up.” → ✅ “Now I know how to improve.”
❌ “That was embarrassing.” → ✅ “Everyone makes mistakes. What can I learn from this?”

Even the best athletes make mistakes, but what sets them apart is how they bounce back.

8. Be a Supportive (Not Overly Critical) Parent

As parents, we naturally want to push our kids to be their best. But if we’re not careful, our words can add to the pressure. Be mindful of:

❌ Overanalyzing their performance after every game
❌ Yelling from the sidelines in a way that makes them nervous
❌ Expecting perfection instead of progress

Instead, focus on support and encouragement:

✅ “I love watching you play.”
✅ “I’m proud of how hard you worked.”
✅ “That was a tough game, but you handled it well.”

Parenting isn’t about fixing every struggle—it’s about walking beside them as they learn and grow.

9. Help Them Find the Fun Again

At the end of the day, sports should be fun. If anxiety is stealing the joy, it might be time to step back and reassess.

- Are they in the right sport?
- Do they actually enjoy competing, or do they feel forced?
- Would they benefit from a break to reset?

Sometimes, pressure to perform can overshadow the love for the game. Help your child reconnect with why they started playing in the first place.

When to Seek Professional Help

If sports anxiety is severe—causing panic attacks, major distress, or a refusal to play—it might be helpful to involve a coach, counselor, or sports psychologist. There’s no shame in asking for support!

Professional guidance can give your child tools to manage anxiety in a healthy way.

Final Thoughts

Sports should challenge and excite kids, not make them anxious wrecks. By normalizing pre-game jitters, teaching coping skills, and emphasizing the joy in the game, you can help your child step onto the field with confidence.

At the end of the day, it’s not about winning or losing—it’s about growing, learning, and having fun. And with your support, your child will learn to handle pressure not only in sports, but in life, too.