Encouraging Girls to Make Mistakes and Learn From Them

27 May 2025

Let’s face it—mistakes are a part of life. Whether you accidentally burn the toast, trip over your shoelaces, or make a huge mess trying something new, mistakes happen. But here’s the kicker: They’re not something to fear. In fact, for our daughters, nieces, sisters, and all the amazing girls in our lives, mistakes can be the ultimate stepping stones toward growth and success.

As parents, caregivers, and mentors, it’s our job to normalize mistakes and empower girls to embrace them. Why? Because perfection isn’t the goal—progress is. So let’s dive into why this mindset matters, how we can foster it, and why the occasional "oops" moment can actually be a girl's greatest teacher.

Why Encouraging Mistakes Matters

Let’s start with the big question: Why should we encourage girls to make mistakes? Isn’t the goal to help them avoid failure? Well, not quite.

Girls, from an early age, often feel societal pressure to be "perfect"—to get the best grades, look a certain way, always be polite, and avoid saying or doing the wrong thing. This "perfectionism trap" can box them into a fearful mindset, making them hesitant to take risks or try new things.

Here’s the problem: Fear of failure stifles growth. If a girl is too scared to mess up, she won’t push herself out of her comfort zone. She won’t raise her hand in class, apply for that leadership role, or try her hand at coding, science experiments, or sports because she’s afraid of looking silly or getting it wrong.

Encouraging mistakes isn’t about letting go of high standards or applauding mediocrity. It’s about giving girls the permission to try, knowing that the journey is just as important—if not more important—than the destination.

The Link Between Mistakes and Growth

Think about a toddler learning to walk. Do they get it right on the first try? Of course not! They wobble, fall, bump their heads… but they don’t stop. And eventually, they figure it out. That’s because each fall teaches them something new.

The same rule applies throughout life, no matter the age. Mistakes are where the magic happens. They teach resilience, problem-solving, and adaptability. When a girl makes a mistake and bounces back, she’s learning how to persevere. She’s figuring out that failure isn’t final—it’s just feedback.

Even more importantly, mistakes help girls develop a growth mindset. Psychologist Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset versus fixed mindset shows that people who believe they can improve through effort are far more likely to succeed in the long run. And what’s one of the easiest ways to build that mindset? Celebrate mistakes as valuable learning opportunities.

Breaking the Fear of Judgment

One major reason girls may fear making mistakes is the fear of judgment. Whether it’s peers, teachers, or even parents, being judged can feel heavy. Imagine standing in front of an audience and forgetting your lines during a play—your heart races, your cheeks flush, and the embarrassment feels overwhelming. That’s the kind of fear many girls carry with them daily: the fear of being "not good enough."

But here’s the thing: We can’t control how the world reacts, but we can create a safe space for girls to experiment without fear of judgment. As parents or role models, we need to show them that it’s okay to mess up. How? By being honest about our own mistakes.

Tell them about the time you burned dinner or botched an important presentation. Laugh about it. Let them see that you’re human, too. When girls witness adults handling failure with grace, it sends an empowering message: Mistakes don’t define you. How you handle them does.

How to Encourage Girls to Embrace Mistakes

Okay, so we know mistakes are important. But how exactly do we encourage girls to embrace them without feeling defeated? Here are some practical tips:

1. Celebrate Effort Over Outcome

Instead of saying, “You’re so smart,” try saying, “I’m so proud of how hard you worked on this.” Shifting the focus to effort helps girls see the value in trying, even if the result isn’t perfect.

2. Reframe Failure

Help girls rethink what it means to fail. Instead of saying, “You failed,” say, “You tried something that didn’t work—what did you learn?” This slight shift in language can change how they view setbacks.

3. Model Resilience

When you make a mistake, own it. Say, “Oops, I made a mistake. Here’s what I’m going to do differently next time.” This shows them how to handle mistakes positively.

4. Encourage Risk-Taking

Push your daughter to step outside of her comfort zone. Whether it’s signing up for a new activity, sharing her opinion, or tackling a challenging project, reassure her that it’s okay to try even if the outcome isn’t perfect.

5. Create a "Mistake Jar"

Make mistakes fun by creating a family "Mistake Jar." Every time someone in the family messes up and learns from it, they write it on a piece of paper and add it to the jar. At the end of the month, celebrate the lessons learned.

6. Avoid Overcorrecting

As parents, it’s tempting to swoop in and fix everything. But try to resist. Let her figure things out on her own, even if it means a little frustration along the way. Problem-solving is part of the learning process!

The Role of Positive Role Models

When girls see women embracing mistakes and thriving despite them, it’s incredibly powerful. Point to successful women like Oprah Winfrey, who openly talks about being fired from her first TV job, or Misty Copeland, who faced countless rejections before becoming a world-renowned ballerina.

Even fictional characters can provide inspiration. Hermione Granger may be whip-smart, but she still makes mistakes—and owns up to them. Show girls that their heroes are human, too, and that their accomplishments didn’t come without setbacks.

Teaching Compassion Toward Themselves

One of the biggest struggles kids (especially girls) face is self-criticism. They hold themselves to impossibly high standards and beat themselves up when they fall short. Our job? Teach them how to be kind to themselves.

When your daughter says, “Ugh, I’m so stupid! I messed up!” counter that inner critic with compassion. Remind her that her value isn’t tied to being perfect, and mistakes are simply part of life. Help her learn the power of self-forgiveness—because being her own biggest cheerleader will take her much further than being her own harshest critic.

The Long-Term Payoff

Encouraging girls to make mistakes and learn from them isn’t just about helping them survive a tough science test or a bad day at soccer practice. It’s about building lifelong confidence and resilience.

These are the girls who will grow up to become leaders, innovators, and changemakers because they’ve learned to keep going in the face of adversity. They’ll be the ones who don’t let fear hold them back, but instead, use it as fuel to aim higher.

Think about it: Wouldn’t you rather raise a girl who’s brave enough to try and fail than one who never tries at all? Teaching her to welcome mistakes today will prepare her to tackle the challenges of tomorrow.

Wrapping It Up

Encouraging girls to make mistakes and learn from them isn’t always easy, especially in a world that sometimes equates success with flawlessness. But embracing imperfection? That’s where the magic happens.

Remember, every mistake is an opportunity. And every time a girl picks herself up, dusts herself off, and says, “Let’s try that again,” she’s becoming the person she’s meant to be: bold, resilient, and unstoppable.

So the next time your daughter comes to you with a big “oops,” don’t fix it for her. Don’t criticize or judge. Just smile, give her a hug, and say, “Good job. What did you learn?”

Because, in the end, mistakes aren’t obstacles—they’re building blocks. And the more we encourage girls to embrace them, the higher they’ll climb.