Why modern parents feel more sleep deprived than our ancestors did

May 10, 2026 - 23:38

A growing number of sleep researchers are questioning whether modern parenting advice is making new mothers and fathers more exhausted than their ancestors ever were. The core issue, they argue, is that today's guidelines push for long, uninterrupted stretches of sleep for infants, a goal that runs counter to human biology.

Our ancestors lived in communal settings where babies slept close to their mothers and nursed frequently throughout the night. This fragmented sleep pattern was normal and expected. In contrast, modern parents often isolate themselves in separate rooms with their babies, following rigid schedules that demand the infant "sleep through the night" by a certain age. When the baby inevitably wakes, the parent experiences a jarring disruption from a deep sleep cycle, which feels far more draining than the lighter, more frequent awakenings of co-sleeping ancestors.

Scientists studying historical sleep patterns note that pre-industrial families did not have the same expectation of eight straight hours of silence. They often had a "first sleep" and a "second sleep," with a period of quiet wakefulness in between. For a new mother, this meant her baby's night wakings were simply part of the natural rhythm, not a failure. Today, the pressure to achieve a consolidated night's rest creates immense stress and a sense of inadequacy when it does not happen.

This mismatch between biological reality and modern expectation may explain why contemporary parents report such high levels of sleep deprivation. Some experts now suggest that instead of fighting the infant's natural sleep cycle, parents might benefit from adjusting their own expectations and embracing the idea that broken sleep, while challenging, is a normal part of early parenthood.