‘It infuriates me’: What grandparents really think about gentle parenting

June 19, 2026 - 02:44

Many grandparents are quietly seething over the rise of gentle parenting, a method that prioritizes emotional validation over strict discipline. One grandmother, speaking on condition of anonymity, said the approach leaves her "infuriated" when she watches her grandchildren refuse to eat at the dinner table or ignore bedtime entirely.

"It infuriates me," she said. "We are told not to say 'no,' not to raise our voices, and to let the child 'process' their feelings while the pasta gets cold."

The tension is not new, but it is growing. Grandparents who grew up with firmer boundaries say they feel sidelined in their own families. They describe watching toddlers run riot in restaurants while parents kneel down to negotiate with a three-year-old. They see bedtime stretched into a 45-minute ritual of choices and compromises.

Some grandparents admit they struggle to hold their tongues. "I want to say, 'Just put the child to bed,'" one grandfather said. "But if I do, I am the bad guy."

Parenting experts acknowledge the generational clash. Gentle parenting, popularized in recent years, encourages parents to see misbehavior as a form of communication. But critics argue it can lead to permissiveness when applied without structure.

For grandparents, the issue is often about respect. They feel their experience is dismissed as outdated. One grandmother summed it up: "We raised our kids just fine. Now we are told we did it all wrong."

The debate shows no signs of cooling. As one family therapist noted, the real challenge is not which method is better, but how to bridge the gap between generations without turning every visit into a battleground.