Getting a Handle on Emotional Outbursts: Both Yours and Your Child's

2 September 2025

Parenting is a wild ride—one minute you're playing peek-a-boo, and the next, you're in the middle of a full-blown emotional meltdown (and not just your child’s). We've all been there, standing in the cereal aisle while our kid flails dramatically over the injustice of not getting the rainbow-colored sugar bombs. And let’s be real—sometimes we feel like having our own tantrum, too.

So, how do we keep our cool while helping our little tornadoes manage their emotions? Let’s talk about it.

Why Do Emotional Outbursts Happen?

Before we dive into solutions, let's acknowledge the obvious—humans are emotional creatures. Kids, in particular, are tiny balls of pure emotion with very little impulse control. And honestly, adults aren’t always much better.

Emotional outbursts happen for different reasons depending on age:

For Kids:

- They’re overwhelmed. Whether it's too many choices, loud noises, or just feeling tired, overstimulation leads to meltdowns.
- They lack the words. Young kids don’t always have the vocabulary to express what’s wrong, so they resort to wailing, stomping, or throwing themselves on the floor like a toddler-shaped starfish.
- They’re testing limits. Sometimes, a tantrum is just a way to see how much they can push before you cave in.

For Parents:

- Stress overload. Work, bills, lack of sleep—life piles up.
- Unrealistic expectations. We expect kids to behave like tiny adults, but they’re still learning.
- Mirror behavior. Ever notice how your child’s mood reflects yours? If you're edgy, they pick up on it.

Tackling Your Child’s Emotional Explosions

Now that we know why they happen, let’s arm ourselves with some go-to strategies.

1. Stay Calm (Even When You Want to Scream)

Easier said than done, right? But kids feed off our energy. If you lose it, they escalate. Take deep breaths, count to ten, or channel your inner Zen master—whatever works.

2. Acknowledge Their Feelings

Imagine venting to a friend and they just say, "Calm down." Infuriating, right? Kids feel the same way. Instead, try:
- "I see you're really frustrated because we have to leave the park."
- "You're upset because your tower fell down."

Validating their emotions doesn’t mean giving in, but it helps them feel heard.

3. Give Them Tools to Express Emotions

Kids need alternatives to screaming and throwing things. Teach them simple phrases like:
- "I feel mad because..."
- "I need help with..."
You can also use emotion charts or books to help them pinpoint feelings.

4. Offer Choices

A little control goes a long way. Instead of saying, "Put on your shoes now!" try:
- "Do you want to wear the red shoes or the blue ones?"
- "Should we leave in 5 minutes or 10?"

When kids feel like they have a say, they’re less likely to push back.

5. Create a Calm-Down Routine

Having a designated cool-down strategy helps. Try:
- A cozy corner with pillows and books.
- Deep breathing techniques (blowing bubbles works wonders).
- A sensory tool like a squishy toy or stress ball.

Routines help kids learn that emotions are okay—it's how we handle them that matters.

Managing Your Emotional Outbursts

Parenting is an emotional marathon, and let’s face it—sometimes we want to scream into a pillow. Here’s how to keep your cool.

1. Recognize Your Triggers

What sets you off? Mess? Disrespect? Fighting over bedtime? Identifying triggers helps you prepare for them. If you know mornings stress you out, plan ahead. If bedtime battles wear you down, adjust expectations.

2. Pause Before Reacting

Before you explode, stop. Take a breath. Give yourself a few seconds to respond instead of reacting in the heat of the moment. Try:
- Taking a sip of water.
- Walking into another room for a moment.
- Closing your eyes and counting backward from ten.

3. Reframe Your Thoughts

Instead of thinking, Why is my child doing this to me?, reframe it:
- My child is having a hard time, not giving me a hard time.
- They need guidance, not punishment.
- This is a phase, not forever.

Changing your inner dialogue can help shift your emotional response.

4. Take Care of Yourself

You can't pour from an empty cup. Make sure you’re:
- Getting enough sleep (as much as possible, anyway).
- Eating meals that don’t consist solely of your kid’s leftovers.
- Taking breaks when needed.

Self-care isn't selfish—it makes you a better, more patient parent.

5. Apologize When You Mess Up

Nobody is perfect. If you snap, own it. Saying, "I got frustrated and yelled, and I’m sorry," teaches your child that everyone makes mistakes—and that we should take responsibility for them.

When to Seek Extra Help

If emotional outbursts—yours or your child’s—are frequent, intense, or affecting daily life, it might be time to seek extra support. Signs to look for:
- Your child’s tantrums are extreme (lasting over 30 minutes, multiple times a day).
- You feel completely overwhelmed, anxious, or consistently angry.
- You or your child struggle to calm down even after the situation is resolved.

Talking to a therapist, counselor, or parenting coach can be a game-changer.

Final Thoughts

Parenting is messy, emotional, and—let’s be real—downright exhausting. But emotional outbursts, whether from your little one or yourself, are part of the journey. With patience, practice, and a deep breath (or ten), you can help your child navigate their big feelings while keeping your own in check.

And hey, the next time you're dealing with a meltdown in the middle of the grocery store? Just remember—somewhere out there, another parent is battling the exact same storm. You’re not alone, and you're doing better than you think.